The death of a loved one is a great loss for his family and friends. However, it is worth remembering that the deceased should not only be mourned, but also properly led to the “other world”, taking into account all the necessary rituals.
How are commemorations held on the fortieth day
According to Christian traditions, the deceased is commemorated on the third, ninth and fortieth days after his death. It was still an Old Testament custom to mourn the deceased for forty days.
The main task of the rite is to help the soul of a deceased person move to another world easily and calmly. At the commemoration, one should remember the deceased with a kind word, remember him warmly and pray for his soul.
It is necessary to visit the grave of the deceased, order the necessary services in the church "On the Repose" and organize a memorial meal, to which all relatives and friends of the deceased should be invited.
It is customary to bring flowers (an even number) and a candle to the cemetery; in some regions of the country, relatives leave cookies or sweets on the grave so that strangers also remember the deceased.
You can say a short speech and say a prayer, but drinking alcoholic beverages at the grave is strictly prohibited.
A funeral dinner should not be like a buffet table or a feast. The purpose of the memorial meal is to remember the departed person, to remember him and to support each other in such a difficult life situation.
The table can be quite modest, but the main dishes of the commemoration are traditionally: pies, noodles, kulesh, eve, porridge and pancakes. Meat and vegetable cuts, mushrooms and salads are allowed. As for alcoholic beverages, give preference to the church wine "Cahors". Alcohol at the memorial dinner is usually poured two times - "at the commemoration of the soul."
In other religions, there are also funeral customs. For example, in Islam it is believed that a good deed must be done on the day of commemoration: to help the weak or donate money to charity.
Is it possible to move the day of commemoration
There are unforeseen life circumstances in which the question arises of postponing the memorial meal.
The Orthodox Church believes that with serious valid reasons, the memorial dinner can be moved forward or backward a few days.
But if there are no compelling reasons for the postponement, it is still better to hold the commemoration exactly on the fortieth day of death.
In addition to prayers and meals, relatives should distribute refreshments to people in need "for the sake of the soul."
A memorial meal should not be held if it coincides with major Orthodox holidays (Easter, Christmas, Trinity). In this case, it is better to postpone the commemoration.
The day before the memorial dinner, it is recommended to order the Liturgy for the burial of the soul of the deceased and the Panikhida for the memorial day.
If you have decided to postpone the commemoration, it is still better to hold them a few days after the exact date of death.
