The death of a loved one always becomes a heavy mental shock. It is often in this situation that people who have never thought about faith before begin to pray for the first time.
Prayer for the departed is not only consolation for the survivors, but also a help to the deceased in the afterlife. According to St. John Chrysostom, prayers mean incomparably more than sobs and magnificent tombs.
When to visit the cemetery
For prayer for the dead - including at the cemetery - certain days are set. These are meat-eating Saturday (the penultimate Saturday before Lent), parental Saturdays (on the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th weeks of Lent and on the eve of the Holy Trinity) and Radonitsa (Tuesday in the 2nd week after Easter). Those killed in the war are commemorated on the last Saturday before St. Dmitry Solunsky, which is celebrated on November 8. Contrary to common misconception, you should not visit the cemetery on Easter day.
In addition, one should pray for the deceased on the 9th and 40th days after death, and subsequently on the anniversary of death and the day of remembrance of the saint whose name he bore.
Prayer at the cemetery should be preceded by prayer in the church, attendance at a service, preferably confession and communion. Before the beginning of the service, you should submit a note "On the repose", which indicates the name of the deceased.
When visiting a cemetery, one should not arrange a memorial meal at the grave, leave food there, and even more so - wine or vodka, this is a pagan custom, which Christians should not adhere to. There is no need to enter into an illusory "dialogue" with the deceased.
Prayers in the cemetery
Before you start praying, you need to tidy up the grave and light a candle. It should be placed in front of an icon or a cross, but not in front of a photograph of the deceased.
The simplest prayer sounds like this: "Rest, Lord, the soul of your deceased servant / your servant (name), and forgive him / her all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant him / her the kingdom of heaven." This is how Christians commemorate the departed every day in morning prayer, and, of course, one cannot be limited to this in the cemetery.
On all days of commemoration of the dead, litiya should be performed at the cemetery. This word is translated as "increased prayer." The full rite of the litiya is performed by the priest, but if there is no way to invite him to the cemetery, the layman can read the short rite of the litiya himself.
This rite begins with the same prayer as the Follow-up to the Holy Impregnation: "Through the prayers of the saints, father …". Then they say the prayer to the Holy Spirit, the Trisagion, the prayer to the Holy Trinity, "Our Father", they say "Lord have mercy" 12 times and the prayer "Come, let us worship …". Then Psalm 90 is read, kontakion, voice 8 ("Rest with the saints, Christ …") and ikos ("You yourself are one …"). All of these prayers are easy to find in prayer books. There you can also find an akathist about the repose of the dead, which is also read in the cemetery.
If it is not possible to visit the grave on the day of remembrance (for example, a person is buried in another city), you can perform the litiya at home.
In addition to these prayers, there are also special prayers related to family relations: the prayer of the widower, the widow, the prayer of children for parents and parents for dead children.
