In the Orthodox tradition, prayers for the departed are the result of love for the deceased loved ones. That is why, after death, a person is not forgotten, but remembered with prayer, deeds of mercy. There are special days of remembrance for the departed, which are counted from the day of death.
In the everyday life of our people, the tradition of commemorating the dead on the ninth and fortieth days of the anniversary is widespread. These dates are not accidental, they have their basis in Christian tradition.
According to church tradition, the soul on the third day after death appears before God, after which it is shown the paradise abodes. On the ninth day, after the soul has examined paradise, she again ascends to worship the Lord. That is why the ninth day from the day of death is marked by commemoration. However, in the minds of some people, the main meaning of commemoration is lost. So, what is the Christian Orthodox meaning of the commemoration on the ninth day, and how is it correct to commemorate the departed?
The main components of any days of remembrance of deceased loved ones are prayer and the performance of deeds of mercy. Therefore, it is necessary to pay more attention not to the external form of commemoration, which is often completely meaningless and frankly superstitious, but to the internal component of our memory of the departed.
On the ninth day from the day of death, it is necessary to pray for the repose of the soul of the deceased. If there is a church in the city where the morning Liturgy service is performed on that day, it is necessary to submit notes of repose and pray for the main Orthodox service. In addition, believers order a memorial service. Sometimes prayer commemorations in the temple are ordered in advance.
In addition to the conciliar prayer in the church, an Orthodox person commemorates the dead and at home in his prayers. This is especially true of the days of remembrance, including the ninth. At home, you can read the canon of the dead, 17 kathisma psalteries (or several kathisma with inserts of prayers for the dead), the following of the litiya, an akathist for the one who died.
If possible, on the ninth day from the date of death, you can visit the grave. Clean up the burial site if necessary. At the cemetery itself, it is necessary to pray again for the repose of the soul of the deceased.
On the ninth day, it is customary to prepare a memorial dinner. Its meaning is not to eat, but to perform a work of mercy. Relatives of the deceased invite loved ones and relatives of the dead to the table, feed them. Sometimes indigent people are also invited to memorial dinners, fulfilling the Lord's covenant to feed the hungry and thirsty. At the same time, it does not matter where exactly lunch is prepared (at home or in a cafe). It depends on the convenience and capabilities of the organizers of the commemoration.
At the memorial dinner, it is also very important not to forget about prayer. Before eating food, you must ask God for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased. The relatives of the deceased may well ask for prayers for the repose of the soul of the person being remembered and from all those present. If someone does not know the text of the prayers, it is quite possible to pray in your own words for the repose of the soul of the newly departed.
For Orthodox people, it is important to know what time is the ninth day from the day of death. If it is a fast day, it is advisable to prepare a fast memorial dinner. And, of course, do not forget that the departed should not be remembered with alcohol.
In addition, on the ninth day, you can do charity. For example, to distribute food and clothing to those in need (if this was not done in advance).
Thus, it should be clearly understood that the most useful and necessary for a person who has passed to another world is not just the memory of the living and the preparation of memorial dinners, but a heartfelt prayer for the repose of the soul and the performance of deeds of mercy.
