Few remember that in Russia marriage was preceded by three traditional secular rites: matchmaking, engagement and betrothal. Today, the last two have merged into a single action, which often seems ridiculous and inappropriate.
In Russia, for a long time, the rites of engagement and betrothal were inseparable from each other, they were a direct consequence of successful matchmaking. Now they are often confused.
Matchmaking
In the past, matchmaking was mandatory and played an important role in the lives of young people. The groom, accompanied by matchmakers, came to the house of his beloved, where he met the parents of the future wife and asked for permission to marry their daughter. The role of the groom was mediocre, all the work was done by matchmakers who praised the "merchant" and offered a ransom for the bride. Matchmaking was very important, because matchmakers had to obtain permission from the bride's parents to marry the young man they brought.
Today the ceremony is a thing of the past. In big cities, wooing is no longer accepted. Most often, acquaintance with parents occurs in a secular manner, or even completely by accident, and their opinion about the future marriage union no longer affects the choice of the bride and groom. Therefore, in fact, there was no need to ask permission to marry. However, in some villages and villages this ceremony is still performed, thereby preserving national traditions and expressing respect for elders.
Engagement
The name of this rite comes from the word "say", i.e. “Talk, tell”. As soon as the consent of the parents to the marriage was obtained, it was decided to inform almost the entire village about this decision. The groom gathered relatives and friends in his house, where he told that the matchmaking was successful.
Another part of the engagement is an agreement, an agreement between the parents of the spouses about when the wedding will take place, where, on what conditions.
The current notion of engagement is a bit skewed. Many believe that this is a Western tradition, so they abandon it. Someone thinks that giving a ring to the future bride is considered an engagement, but this is already an engagement.
Betrothal
After the perfect rites of matchmaking and engagement, the betrothal was performed. It consisted of an exchange of rings and was considered the beginning of preparations for the wedding. The bride sat down to sew the dowry, and the groom was busy preparing the house and preparing provisions for the beginning of family life.
In modern terms, the engagement looks like a solemn presentation of the ring to the bride. The girl, accepting him, agrees to marry this man, i.e. modern betrothal has absorbed elements of matchmaking, only the consent to the marriage is given not by the parents, but by the bride herself.
