When self-esteem is hurt, it is not always possible to be generous. If you cannot ignore the boorish behavior, and the resentment and indignation do not leave, you should learn to respond with dignity.
People who are poorly educated and insecure are prone to rudeness. Sometimes tactful remarks, appeals for calmness and reasonable arguments do not lead to a positive result, but only fuel the “righteous” anger of the interlocutor. Situations like this force you to learn to put boors in their place, but you need to do this skillfully, beautifully!
Confuse
In any daring communication, the scandalous person initially considers himself superior to his opponent or wants to prove it to himself. Perhaps a certain status really allows such behavior, at least in his understanding. Plus, an energetic discharge occurs - one's own unresolved problems are pushed onto a weaker one. The goal of rudeness is to unbalance, touch the quick and rise in your eyes, so you should react calmly, with a share of sympathy and, if possible, with humor. Sincere or feigned empathy can be completely confusing, because boors seek to gain confidence and power, but not pity and understanding. With humor, pissed off people are even more complicated. In fact, they take the whole situation seriously and are determined to further develop the conflict. In response to an ironic remark: "And then Ostap suffered" or a remark: "poorly played," I do not believe! " a real embarrassment can occur. All the previous abuse was taken as a bad joke, bad acting. There is nothing left but to turn the conversation back to normal or refuse further communication.
Add metaphors
In some situations, reciprocal rudeness can have negative consequences, for example, in cases with bosses or parents. However, in order not to step on self-esteem, you can use a special technique called in psychology "the stereotype of quotation marks." The essence of this method is the use of a metaphor that allows a third person to make a rude remark and express their own opinion. In response to the unbalanced speech of the chief, you can see how in the morning I had to go up in the elevator with some nutcase, who made a real scandal out of the blue. As a result, it should be noted that a person probably has big problems and it is better for them to stay at home in general, and not take their evil off on others. When the dispute turns into a scream, and the other side does not want to listen to other people's arguments, to say how pleasant it is to communicate with balanced and reasonable people, while at times you just want to ask some to “shut up”. This tactic of behavior has a sobering effect on the interlocutors and makes them think.
For any rudeness, you can find your own elegant way of answering, while not being like the level of the interlocutor. An ironic remark, unexpected pity and an "accidental" example given is a worthy response to open rudeness.
