Everyone is asked tactless, rude questions from time to time. Often, when faced with people who shamelessly violate other people's personal boundaries, we get lost, we begin to account for what we should not, or involuntarily be rude. How to behave in such an unpleasant situation?
A tactless question? Show good manners
Ill-mannered people who ask unpleasant questions often do not even know that they are acting tactlessly. Therefore, by answering them rudely, you will only demonstrate that your manners are also faulty. As they say - go down to their level. It is up to you to decide which tactics to choose - to ignore the question with a polite, incomprehensible smile, evenly ask why the questioner should know this or just laugh it off - in any case, remain polite and correct. If the other person continues to embarrass you, it's okay to let them know that you think their questions are rude and violate your boundaries.
It is important to realize that sometimes we ourselves are too curious, close the distance and mislead people, allowing them to think that our relationship is at a more trusting stage.
If you do not want to hear tactless questions from strangers, try to keep yourself within the framework of a polite interest, without expressing undue interest.
A special case is tactless questions from children. Most kids have a natural curiosity and childlike spontaneity, they sincerely do not understand that their question can be impolite. With a small interlocutor, you can get off with a joke, and if he shows persistence, attract the attention of parents. It is definitely not worth trying to raise other people's children.
How to answer the most common tactless questions
How much do you earn? / How much money do you make?
Questions about the level of wages are among the most frequently asked. With some stretch, they can be forgiven to colleagues who are interested from a professional point of view, figuring out the "temperature" of the growth. But this curiosity is definitely not a sign of good upbringing, if the question about money is asked by a casual interlocutor or friend.
How to answer the salary question? The easiest way is to say sweetly and kindly that you only talk to your boss about this topic. Most people will take the hint and accept this answer. If the interlocutor continues to be interested, you can give a formal, vague answer: “Enough so that I can afford what I like. What about you? . If you suspect that the question is motivated and may be followed by an even more tactless request, say that your salary is not enough to fulfill all your dreams.
How old are you?
Questions about your age are only relevant from the mouths of your health care providers, insurance or banking agents who process your paperwork, your retirement fund or your HR department - in short, only those who need this information for work.
How to answer those from whom this question is unpleasant to you? Some people laugh it off: "My years are my wealth." Others prefer to look perplexedly and ask why the questioner needs this information.
Are you thin / fat?
Even if this is not a question, but a tactless remark, it requires an answer. The easiest way is to smile and say, “I feel great! What do you say about yourself? Transferring the conversation to the intrusive interlocutor is sometimes the most effective way to get rid of intrusive curiosity.
Are you still alone?
The question of whether you have found someone “suitable” is often asked by not quite strangers. Nevertheless, this topic does not cease to be personal, and it is up to you to decide with whom you want to discuss it and with whom you do not. It will be correct to answer that you do not know yet, but as soon as you decide, immediately notify everyone who needs to know about it. If you are able to look meaningfully at the interlocutor at the last words - great!
How much did you pay for this?
Here's another question when it seems that the interlocutor is just running into rudeness. It is worth staying within the framework of good parenting. You can say that you do not have such things in mind and suggest that you google the average market value. Or let the questioner know that you are not going to sell your property, so the price does not matter.
Standard answers to tactless questions
There are many more unpleasant questions that are obtrusively asked by not too well-bred people. For example: when will you get married? will you get a baby? give birth to a second? are you not pregnant Etc. Trying to predict all of them and find answers, you can spend a lot of precious time. And it's not worth it. Here are some standard ways to make it clear that the question is tough and you won't answer it:
- I heard right, you really just asked me about ….?;
- My principle is not to touch on this topic in a conversation. Let's talk about something else.
- I just can't understand why you are asking this?
In case the interlocutor continues to insist, the most appropriate step is to take a step back to increase the space between you, and firmly communicate that you do not intend to discuss this topic.
What if you asked a tactless question?
It also happens that you yourself have become the initiator of an unpleasant conversation. There may be various reasons for this, but whatever they may be, if the interlocutor considers the question inappropriate, he is right, not you. In this case, just apologize and draw conclusions for the future that the range of topics discussed with this person is much narrower than you imagined.
