The Book of Genesis reveals to us the first man - Adam in short strokes: laconic, but voluminous. He was a sinless man, created for eternity. The whole world listened to him. He gave names to objects and animals, and they were subordinate to him. Once God said: "It is not good for a man to be alone." And he created a helper for him - a woman.
How it used to be
Adam, awakening from the dream imposed on him, sees Eve in front of him and understands perfectly well that she is his particle: "You are bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." Then he utters prophetic words that should become the slogan for family life for centuries: "From now on, a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the two flesh will be one." Modern people also somehow understand that they have met their one and only. And here it is not done without the intervention of God.
The Apostle Paul, on the contrary, argued that it is good for a person to live alone: "If you can, be like me." He promised that when we start a family, we will have tribulations according to the flesh. The so-called Paul's loneliness is the loneliness of a preacher. On the eve of the second coming, unavoidable death or some kind of danger, loneliness is desirable. This is the lot of monks, ascetics and ordinary people who understand that there is something above marriage. Such feats are given from above and the vocation to them is clearly felt.
Previously, a man was relieved of the worry of looking for a wife. The parents were doing this, so the problem was that you had to marry someone who you might not like. However, in most cases, the life of such married couples corresponded to the saying: "Suffer, fall in love." Now this burden rests on the person himself.
A search in any question presupposes a mistake, but in the question of marriage, no one wants to be mistaken. One theologian said: “When a young man meets the one who is intended for him and calls her beloved, changes take place in his mind. Before falling in love, there were men and women for him. As soon as he has the love of his life, everyone around him becomes a gray mass without gender differentiation."
Modern customs
People became impatient. A modern person wants everything as quickly as possible: English in two months, a slender figure in two weeks, etc. Nowadays, not many couples agree to marry by decision of their parents (this is more often practiced in the Caucasus), without feeling feelings for the opposite half. Those who have not disobeyed hope that feelings will come along in the process. Only this is not given to everyone and it happens that such marriages break up.
When a person does not have something, he will look for a replacement. For example, women who could not get married, due to the maternal instinct, can take up children and thus realize their motherhood. Only this feeling of loneliness does not completely remove.
A marriage of convenience can be viewed positively if it is the last chance and well planned. But you can be wrong. There are cases when everything is correctly calculated and all desire is achieved, but then you still want real love. If a person has arranged his life with an empty heart, then sooner or later he will want to fill it with real love.
Over the years, a woman desires less and less constitutional respect. She just wants to be loved and protected. Modern women want to be equal to men. Therefore, they together with them lay asphalt, fly into space and are in high positions. However, the path to equality is not the path to happiness.
The marriage is getting younger now. Sexually, a person matures for marriage quite early (15-16 years). Of course, at this age there is still not enough intelligence, there is no security, but physically a person can already become a father or mother. Already in the eleventh grade, parents may complain that algebra and geometry have not been on their children's mind for a long time.
If there is a desire to become a father and a husband at the age of 16, then it is necessary to master the profession. You don't need to study for several years. It is enough to learn professions that do not require such a long study: carpenter, plaster, cabinetmaker, shoemaker, etc.
The classic relationship between a man and a woman implies that a man is looking for his other half. The modern woman also strives to become an equal “hunter”. She wants to achieve, seek, arrange intrigues, etc. John Chrysostom said: "If a woman persistently searches for a man, as he does, it will be a clear sign of the end of the world." The reversal of roles in this "hunt" will mean that the world has approached an unacceptable boundary, beyond which life will no longer be.
When a person dreams a lot, he does not see real happiness. So you can see the fate, looking at a gorgeous beauty and dreaming about her, not even suspecting that your fate lives in your entrance. Prodigal dreams get in the way of knowing fate.
Based on a conversation with Archpriest Andrei Tkachev.
