Divorce is a catastrophic topic for young people. he currently makes up a decent percentage of them. Unfortunately, in most cases, nothing can keep a spouse from divorce. Even married marriages and marriages of priests break up.
The reason for divorce can be different. Sometimes it can be found even in childhood. A big role is played by the upbringing of the child, the composition of the family, etc. To have a happy marriage, you need some kind of metaphysical "pillow", a solid foundation.
You can't love people just like that, you need to do it according to the commandments. The strength for this must be taken from God. The same applies to marriage. You cannot live together and hope for happiness, because we are beautiful, young, with children and be confident in the future.
What marriage is built on
Marriage is the most accurate representation of the relationship between Christ and the church. The union of a man and a woman is a sacrament. This is the only thing that remains of our lost paradise. Even children appeared after the Fall. If we remove the mystery and the spiritual component from the marriage union, then only carnal relationships and money will remain. All this refers to limited resources: the first is in terms of age and health, the second is limited in quantity. It is impossible to build a long and happy family life on these qualities. If you build family relationships only on lust, then aversion to the object of passion can be so strong that it will be many times stronger than passion. If you hit the financial component, you can get carried away, turn into a curmudgeon and at the same time hide behind your family.
In addition to earthly things, there must be a solid foundation, which is impossible to build without God. In the Catholic wedding ceremony, the spouses take an oath before the altar: “I take you as a wife and promise to be faithful to you in poverty and wealth, in old age and youth, in illness and health. Help me, God, in one Trinity and all the saints. Amen . The second half repeats the same thing. These words need to be spoken out loud to yourself and others in order to feel your responsibility. It is a pity that there is no such tradition in Orthodoxy. The absence of these fundamental things makes marriage a soap bubble that bursts when everyday difficulties arise.
A marriage does not break up overnight. There are many reasons due to which he can somehow keep afloat. These are the parents of the spouses, their own children, the property issue, etc. Divorced people often do not want to remain in this position and try to find their next happiness. As practice shows, repeated marriages are more productive. However, we must not forget the words of God: “Whoever divorces his wife, except for the guilt of adultery, gives her a reason to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. And for this, sooner or later, you will have to answer before God.
There are times when divorce is not only inevitable, but simply necessary. In the social concept of the Russian Orthodox Church, there is a fairly extensive list of situations where divorce is possible and not a sin. For example, a spouse, having committed a crime, is sentenced to life imprisonment, and the wife has every right to demand a divorce. The reason may be sexual deviations (perversions) of one of the spouses or an inability to bear children discovered after marriage.
Children don't save marriage
The absence of children is not a reason for divorce. There are childless marriages that can be happy too. This is a major hindrance to happiness, but it can be dealt with. A wife's love for her husband is greater than children. Marriage is much deeper than having children. When a child is born to a spouse, the first degree of kinship arises between them. She is absent between the spouses, because they are strangers, but, nevertheless, they are a single organism.
A joint child is already a different person who will live his own life. Husband and wife should take care of the health of their relationship. Children are not needed to strengthen them. With their help, you can only prolong the agony of dying love. We should try to preserve the relationship, but children should not play a decisive role.
To keep the marriage from falling apart, you need to pay attention to it. First of all, you need to talk with your other half for at least half an hour a day. You need to find time to be alone without strangers and your own children. It is necessary to do this regularly so that the relationship between them does not cool off.
Based on a conversation with Archpriest Andrei Tkachev
